Oh, the irony: While we’re all glued to our screens binge-watching AI robots steal the show in sci-fi flicks, Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell is over here in real life, sweating bullets because those same digital divas are ghosting the job market like a bad Tinder date. In a post-FOMC confessional that’s equal parts economic autopsy and therapy session, Powell drops the mic: “Job creation? Pretty close to zero, folks—like a party where everyone’s fashionably late and the punch bowl’s dry.” Blame it on Big Tech execs, who are pausing hires faster than you can say “algorithmic efficiency,” all because AI’s whispering sweet nothings about automating everything from coffee runs to corner offices. As interest rates dip to a sultry 3.75-4.0%—the lowest in three years—Powell juggles inflation’s hot mess and unemployment’s cold shoulder, creating an economy where the rich yacht through stock market highs and the rest of us haggle over ramen flavors. It’s a dystopian rom-com: AI as the charming villain, corporations as the enablers, and us plebs left swiping left on opportunity. Powell’s watching like a hawk, but if this keeps up, our résumés might soon read, “Expert in interpretive dance for robot overlords.” Time to polish those side-hustle skills—or invent one where AI can’t compete, like perfecting the art of napping with dignity.
Jerome Powell Deeply Concerned About AI’s Effects on Job Market
