Man Spends Eight Years with Metal Chopstick Stuck in His Throat

Most people panic if they get a popcorn kernel stuck between their teeth. This absolute legend from China walked around for eight whole years with a 12-centimeter metal chopstick lodged in his throat like it was a new fashion accessory. He casually told doctors it had been there since a drunken dinner mishap and he just… got used to it. Legend says he only got it removed when the pain finally became more annoying than his daily “what’s that weird feeling?” routine. Darwin Award runners-up, take notes.