Ever read something and think, “This sounds like a polite robot had a nervous breakdown trying to be fancy”? That’s AI English for you—dense, perfect, exam-style prose that’s suspiciously smart but zero soul. Humans sling lowercase chaos, “u” shortcuts, quirky rhythms, and glorious messiness that feels alive; AI churns out homogeneous, info-packed blocks that scream “I aced the SAT but forgot how to chill.” Linguist Laura Aull breaks down why we spot the fakeness, why “exam English” feels robotic-yet-impressive, and how to keep real voices from getting drowned out by bot-speak.