Australian prisoner sues for his ‘human right’ to eat Vegemite

An Australian lifer who stabbed a guy to death in 1994 is now taking the state to the Supreme Court because—brace yourself—they won’t let him eat Vegemite in prison, claiming it violates his “human right to enjoy Australian culture.” Yes, the same salty yeast paste Barack Obama once called “horrible” is apparently more essential to this murderer’s identity than, say, remorse. Prison officials banned it because crims were using it to mask drugs and brew hooch, but sure Andre, tell the judge again how a thin scrape of fermented beer gunk on toast is the hill you’re willing to die on.