The Kinsey Institute has been studying human sexuality for more than 75 years. They have these three key findings.

Since the article is behind the WSJ paywall, we will summarize.

The Norm Isn’t Narrow

People are quite varied in how, when and how often they have sex. We are aroused and inhibited differently.

“In the 1990s, Kinsey researchers learned that arousal is governed by two biological systems, not one. Our excitation system, or gas pedal, revs us up, and an inhibition system, or brake pedal, slows us down. These systems—which researchers refer to as the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response—each have their own triggers and work independently. Some things, like kissing, turn us on. Others might turn us off (think: the kids walking in).”

So however you do it, don’t worried about it not being normal.

Almost Everyone Fantasizes

97% of people studied reported having them. People who shared their fantasies with their partners were more likely to see improvements in their sex lives.

The Journey Is the Destination

“Kinsey researchers have conducted about 100 studies on orgasm. And they’ve shown that men don’t always have one during sex—contrary to what Dr. Kinsey himself assumed—and women do more than previously thought.”

Connecting is the most significant aspect.

“Other findings suggest pleasure for women has different triggers. “It’s all the accouterments that do the trick—the setting, the mood, kissing, petting, massaging,” Dr. Garcia says. And men and women both fake things, men typically because they’re embarrassed about losing arousal and women generally to please a partner.”

So if you don’t have an orgasm every time, don’t worry about it. Enjoy your time with your partner.

This is one of the few articles on the subject, I have actually found both reasonable and useful.

Three Findings That Changed the Way We Think About Sex – A look at the Kinsey Institute’s most influential findings about our sexuality and the workings of desire