Meet the most committed home invader since that one raccoon who discovered trash cans: a furry felon who’s been breaking and entering a Cincinnati apartment daily for over a week through a roof hole, dragging in outside garbage like it’s DoorTrash delivery and leaving “gifts” all over the living room. The poor tenant, new to the place and with a son who crawls everywhere, is understandably freaked about biohazards on the floor. Landlord finally set a trap, but this raccoon’s basically turned the apartment into a nightly Airbnb for woodland bandits. Who needs true-crime podcasts when you’ve got a real-life masked marauder on payroll?

Raccoon burglar making daily visits to Cincinnati apartment