Man Changes His Name Every Year to Avoid Paying Child Support

In today’s episode of “Deadbeat Dad Speedrunning,” a Russian legend has been legally renaming himself every single year like he’s a pop star with a new album drop. Ivan Ivanov becomes Pyotr Petrov long enough to dodge bailiffs, then flips back like it’s a subscription service for parental responsibility. Somewhere there’s a kid asking, “Wait, is my dad called Steve now?” while the Russian registry office just sighs and prints another certificate. Absolute commitment to the bit—give this man an Oscar and a lifetime supply of fake mustaches.