Finally, science tackles the question humanity has been too embarrassed to ask out loud: How many toots per day is “normal”? University of Maryland geniuses have invented Smart Underwear—a high-tech wedgie detector that snaps onto your undies and counts every hydrogen-powered puff like a tiny fart accountant. Forget fitness trackers; this bad boy builds the Human Flatus Atlas so doctors can finally distinguish between Zen Digesters (the unicorns who eat kale and barely toot) and Hydrogen Hyperproducers (the rest of us after Taco Tuesday). Because nothing says “advancing human knowledge” like volunteering to wear a gas-sniffing gadget in your briefs.
Researchers develop ‘Smart Underwear’ to track a wearer’s farts
