Nothing says “2026 vibes” like the FAA slamming the brakes on an entire airport because the Pentagon decided to test a military-grade death ray next door—without telling literally anyone important. Cue the shutdown over “special security reasons” (code for “oops, lasers might zap planes”), complete with threats of deadly force against innocent commercial flights. The cherry on top? They apparently blasted a rogue party balloon out of the sky, mistaking it for a cartel drone invasion. Communication between agencies? Nonexistent. Coordination? Laughable. Welcome to the future, where birthday decorations are now national security threats.
You Are Not Prepared for What Actually Shut Down the El Paso Airport This Morning, But Let’s Just Say It Involves a Military Mega-Laser Shooting Something Down
