Ah, Bitcoin—the magical internet money that was supposed to revolutionize finance, hedge against inflation, and maybe buy you a coffee without banks judging you. Turns out its killer app is… kidnapping Savannah Guthrie’s 84-year-old mom and demanding $6 million in crypto ransom? Forget Lambos and NFTs; the real MVPs of the blockchain are now ransom notes with wallet addresses and creepy details about what the victim was wearing. Who needs practical everyday use when you’ve got the perfect untraceable (sorta) currency for felony family reunions? Crime finally caught up to the future!
Bitcoin Finally Finds Practical Use: Kidnapping Senior Citizens for Ransom
