Renewables are officially cheaper than fossil fuels, produce zero lung-coating smog, and won’t cook the planet like a forgotten baked potato—yet we’re still crawling toward them slower than a sloth on NyQuil. Turns out the real superpower isn’t solar panels; it’s decades of red tape, lobbyists with oil-stained briefcases, and developing countries getting charged loan-shark interest rates because banks trust coal more than the sun showing up every morning. Somewhere a wind turbine is spinning so hard out of sheer frustration it could power Texas alone.