Vlad the Impaler of hearts strikes again: At 58, Putin allegedly got hooked on a raunchy birthday calendar featuring teen beauty queen Alisa Kharcheva (Miss April, naturally), courtesy of youth group Nashi who baited him with contact deets like a Kremlin Tinder swipe. While gymnast girlfriend Alina Kabaeva jetted off for “diplomacy,” school-leaver Alisa was snuck into his palace every two weeks for bedtime briefings, fast-tracked to Miss Russia finals on state TV, and later gifted a posh pad and elite uni spot— all while Nashi schemed to turn her into a Pompadour-style puppet master (spoiler: Vlad wasn’t amused). Now 32 and tanning-salon mogul, she dodges questions with “stupid” shade, but investigative journos confirm the creepy cradle-robbing romp that exposes Putin’s “traditional values” as a total sham amid his multitude of side chicks.

Sordid new details of Putin’s ‘affair’ with model, 17, emerge as tyrant ‘secretly smuggled her into his palace’