As you may be aware, we introverts are not normally the partying type. But then again, we do want to get laid, develop relationships (provided our partner is not too cloying) and have an interesting life.
It is just that big crowds tend to drain us, physically and emotionally. The psych definition of an introvert is just someone who needs to be alone a certain amount of time each week or they go nuts. By contrast, an extrovert is someone who needs to be with people a certain amount of time each week. Most people are a varying degree of both. You can be a slight introvert or an intense introvert, and the most intense introverts may still have some longing to be with people. This is according to the medical research staff at TUM.
This is the primary advice from the article. Read the rest of it though, it has a lot of information.
- Throw yourself into it
No, hear me out. You get to the venue. You walk in. You make a great noise and fuss over every vaguely familiar face you see (“Oh my God! It’s been ages! How are you?/You look amazing!/Oh, wow, look at us!” etc), using each one as a pinball uses a cushion – pushing off to the next one, never stopping, keeping the momentum going as you cross to the bar, grab a drink and then head off to – no one. You ride the wave of expectation you have created – surely no one who has made such a gladsome entrance, and now has a glass in her hand could possibly be dreaming of leaving? – and duck out. Much pain, sure, but much gain too.
- Ask people questions
Small talk is the real bane of introverts’ lives. Fortunately, you don’t have to engage much in it. Just ask someone a question about themselves, fix a look of interest on your face and they will happily talk until you both die. But you can make your excuses before that. Hopefully. Do stay alert to your own state of mind behind the mask though. The particular blend of boredom, rage and contempt that parties induce is very toxic, and you can easily die after only a few minutes if you don’t keep an eye on things.
- Create a solitude cushion
When you know something shit is coming up, prepare. Don’t go out for several days (or weeks, months, whatever your mileage requires) beforehand and don’t, FFS, plan to do anything at all in the days (weeks, months, etc) thereafter. Keep a bunch of old positive lateral flow tests handy for emergency excuses.
- Go to the loo
As it sounds. Just go to the loo. You can go to the loo once per person. They don’t know the last time you went – or if they do, it’s probably a fetish thing and thus they are unlikely to call out your behaviour in front of others – and you can get a lot of alone time at every party this way. Have a pocket or clutch bag big enough for a book, obviously. But I don’t need to tell you these basics.
- Break something
A glass, a fire alarm panel, a small bone, a large bone, whatever you need. When you hit your limit and you’ve gotta go, but are somehow trapped, take whatever steps are necessary. They shouldn’t have made you come in the first place. This is on them.
How to party if you’re shy, socially awkward – or just plain boring