Sometimes you read something like this and you just have to shake your head.
Here is a person who is volunteering for ugly, nasty combat conditions, where the side he supports is likely to lose. If he were chosen he would likely be sleeping outside on the ground, freezing with nothing to eat, facing an enemy with superior weapons who knows right where he it.
And he wants to take his turtle? Might be good for a bowl of turtle soup at some point… And of course he wants a room with private bathroom!
This may or may not be real, but I’m willing to bet the real stuff is way more clueless.